2 weeks old – My Mind’s playing tricks on me!

This week Anjie turned two weeks! I’m not going to say it has been fun all the way cos it hasn’t but like someone rightly put it, parenthood is hard, but then you come across those moments which make it absolutely worth it, like when she smiles in her sleep (she’s doing that now, priceless! Can’t wait for the proper smile though!)

I can’t deny the fact that the sleepless nights are getting to me. It’s worst in the early hours of the morning between 5am-7am, at that time I’m just exhausted and want to sleep! The good new is that Anjie recently picked up this pattern which I hope she sticks with for a bit. She falls asleep around 8-9pm after a major feed and sleeps till 2-2.30am! Once she sleeps like that I try to hit the bed around 10pm myself cos she’s with grandma at this time.

This is where my mind starts to play tricks on me! Around 12 midnight I wake up and think I’ve fallen asleep with the baby on my lap! So I start looking for her on the bed! Pushing duvets and pillows all panicky and thinking what a horrible mother I am! But then I eventually realise she’s still with grandma so I go back to sleep! This has happened more than four times now and you’d think I’ll know the difference by now! I’m still working on it I guess… It reminds me of the dream I had when I was still pregnant. I dreamt I had given birth and all then one day got up and went to work! I Forgot my baby in the house alone :'(. I was just about to get on a train when someone started shouting to get my attention and the person was carrying my baby! I felt absolutely horrible for days wondering what kind of mother I’d be cos of that horrible dream! So far I’m doing much better than that dream so thank God for that!

Another bad habit which might have developed is Anjie only sleeps well on someone! That someone being me or grandma! If we put her in her cot she only sleeps there for about 30mins to an hour then wakes up crying! A lot of forums and websites I’ve visited say it’s too early to try to change this as the baby’s still very young and wants the warmth/heartbeat so I’m praying she’ll outgrow it very soon or else I’m going to be in big trouble when the folks leave…

Body wise, I think I’m doing okay! I’ve actually lost about 10kg in 2 weeks! To be fair I put on about 22kg (:O) throughout the pregnancy so I still have about 12kg to lose, and might decide to lose some extra while I’m at it too! Guess this breastfeeding does work then! And No, I’m not starving myself! A lot of it was Anjie, the placenta and water so I’m guessing that’s why I lost all that so quickly! My tummy still isn’t as flat as I would like but doubt it’ll reduce more than this, so the gym beckons… I’ve still got a few body aches here and there with minimal leaks so still taking it easy for now. Probably from 3-4weeks I’ll start working on the X-box kinect and doing some aerobics and fitness exercise at home. Might also pick up swimming again if Anjie will let me!

I also got the Tommee Tippee Closer to Nature Breast pump to start out with. I know it didn’t get great reviews but I liked the price and I’m not planning to express much. So far it does the job, a bit slow to express milk but we’re getting there. I also don’t want Anjie to favour the bottle over breast too early either so I’ll only be expressing once a day if I express, maybe I’ll increase it later but for now we’ll see how that works out.

Hubby also went back to work this week, sadly, so it’s just me and the folks at home during the day. Still getting used to not having him around like before but we coping… πŸ™‚

Have a lovely weekend people!

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